Another girl, another blog


Back in the swing of things…
April 7, 2009, 1:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Or so I tell myself.

I started back at work yesterday. It was a surreal experience to walk the same familiar hallways, and yet feel like I was a complete stranger in a forigen territory. I dealt with the expected, “Oh how are you” and “We’ve missed you” and “I’m so sorry” comments and the “poor widow” looks. People were kind and gave me space and didn’t pry too much.

The first thing I saw when I walked into my office was the note that Aaron had sent with my Valentine’s/anniversary tulips.  My heart stopped beating for a minute and I had the ever familiar, “Hey, this has all just been a nightmare” moment, and then came quickly crashing back to reality.

It was difficult to deal with clients, as many of them had been told I was on vacation. So I kept having to answer, “How was your vacation?” questions all day. I wanted to scream, “Um there was nothing good about the last six weeks of my life, thanks!” Instead I told them, “It was okay.” There’s no reason to tell them the truth…

I was not able to stay for a full day, and I’m surprised that I thought I would be able to. I left around 1:30. I just could not handle being here for another minute.

Thanks to everybody who has been emailing, and checking in on me. I’m hanging in there. There are good days and then there are the horrible, shitty, not wanting to get out of bed days. Here’s hoping those days start to be fewer and far between.

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