Another girl, another blog

January 29, 2009, 10:21 pm
Filed under: life | Tags: ,

Its been a fairly mellow week. Not much to report around these parts. Work is busy. Aaron is holding steady, not getting sicker, not getting better. There is one new development that has been on my mind a lot lately.

My mother-in-law is spending the night one night a week now. Aaron brought it up to me last week, saying that he wanted that to happen, because he feels like she’s more attentive than I am–actually, the way he described it was that she’s “actively attentive.” Well, sure, when you’re around for 3-6 hours a week, you can be more active. Live with it everyday for 2 1/2 years, and you kind of fall into a comfortable routine. It’s like a mother with a newborn–you know that the baby has different cries and it takes you a minute to figure them out, but once you do, you’re mostly good.

I’ve got mixed feelings about all of this. I have a difficult relationship with my mother and feel like I’ve raised myself and haven’t really had a strong maternal role model for a long time. It’s tough for me to be vulnerable around maternal figures, including my mother-in-law. Aaron’s always pressing me to have a “better” relationship with her, and quite frankly I think our relationship is fine. I’m comfortable with where we are and I don’t really feel the need to open up to her. It’s scary and I don’t really trust in myself to go there. I know it’s all my own “stuff” but I feel like I’ve got enough on my plate to where I don’t really need to work on improving the relationship with my mother or my mother-in-law.

(sigh) It sucks sometimes. I wish I could be like my friend Jess who has a great relationship with her mom, or my co-workers who are BFF’s with their mom’s. Its not fair that I can’t have that, but at least I know what NOT to do if I ever have children. 

Here’s my current favorite song by Eddie Vedder from the “Into the Wild” soundtrack. I don’t really have a good way to close this entry out, so I guess this will just have to do. 🙂


Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

Gonna rise up
Burning black holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
Suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold

Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole


1 Comment so far
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So no matter what age, do you think boys/men want their mothers when they’re not feeling well? I am sorry you don’t have a good relationship with your mother. I do agree you have enough to deal with…you really can’t be worried about how your mother or mother-in-law are feeling right now.

Take care,

Comment by Mary

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