Another girl, another blog

It’s Alright
September 21, 2008, 10:59 am
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So this weekend has been pretty shitty. I got home early from work on Friday and had to take hubs to the ER because of the distention in his belly (per his primary doctor’s orders). We got to the ER around 4:15. While there he had an ultrasound where we learned that his liver has “numerous lesions” and that apparently the cancer has spread to the spleen. At 11:45 I was leaving while he was sleeping in a bed in his own room because he was admitted for pain management.

I got something to eat (thank god for In-n-Out!) came home, ate and then took a muscle relaxer and went to bed. Around 8:30 hubs called me because he had just seen the doctor, was cranky and wanted to complain. I got up, showered, had some coffee and made it to the hospital around 10. The entire time I was there, I felt like a metaphorical punching bag for my husband who was taking his frustrations out on everybody–but me especially.

We finally spoke with a GI specialist who admitted there wasn’t much to do without the results of Thursday’s PET/CT scan, so he discharged him to go home. Once we were home, I crashed out HARD for a nap, and when I got up, he ended up STILL being cranky and finally I told him that he needs to stop taking everything I say as a personal attack and needs to be nicer to me because I’ve had enough of his taking his anger and frustration out on me.

I went out with some friends last night to karaoke and to get some space and clarity. Some people might judge me for not staying home, but had I stayed home it would have only ended up leading to more fighting. This morning things are better–he feels better, I’m in a better head space and my cute puppy dog is sitting up on the couch watching football with me.

It’s alright. Dar Williams said it so well.


1 Comment so far
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Read your blogs….

i still think of you often. im probably the worst person at writing, calling, and keeping in touch, add to that my own mess of crap that crumbled my world 6 months ago and you have a recipe for a distant me. still…you’re never far from my thoughts…for many reasons. this shit is never easy, and reality is it never will be, but you’ve done a beautiful job of embracing the things, no matter how big or small, that bring you some joy. you’ve accomplished something in the time you’ve had with aaron that many couples who don’t have to deal with this bs only hope to accomplish. in a sense you’ve already been victorious. and this journey has helped to shape you into the beautiful woman you are today. it still sucks, and i wish i could fix it, but you know that already. im glad it’s alright now, but when it’s not okay and you’re ready…i’ll be here. im sure many others will too.

❤ priscilla

Comment by Priscilla

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