Another girl, another blog


(untitled)
August 5, 2008, 10:38 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

Today has been kind of a horrendous day. Work was busy, I was super stressed about something I thought I *royally* fucked up on, and I didn’t get out of the office until 6. I had to book it down to my support group in Orange County, which I miraculously did, and I was ON-TIME. 

I had a really strong emotional break-through tonight, one which is still with me, a few hours later. I don’t feel like getting into all of it right now, suffice it to say that the majority of pain and tears that I expressed were related to my mom and my relationship (or lack their of) with her.

As I was driving home tonight, “The Stone” by Dave Matthews Band came on. It really speaks to me and where I’m at in my life right now with some other stuff going on, completely unrelated to group. But it’s a wonderful song and the lyrics are awesome, so I share them here with you while I go wash my face and go to bed.

I’ve this creeping
Suspicion that things are not
as they seem

Reassure me
Why do I feel as if I’m in too deep

I’ve been praying
For some way to show them
I’m not what they see

Yes I have done wrong
But what I did I thought
needed be done

I swear

Unholy day
If I leave now I might get away
This weighs on me
As heavy as stone and as blue as I go

I was just wondering if
you’d come along
To hold up my head when my head
won’t hold on

I’ll do the same if the same’s
what you want
If not I’ll go
I will go alone

I’m a long way
From that fool’s mistake and
now forever pay
No, run
I will run and I’ll be ok

I was just wondering if
you’d come along
To hold up my head when my head
won’t hold on

I’ll do the same if the same’s
what you want
If not I’ll go
I will go alone

I need so
To stay in your arms, see you smile, hold you close 
And it weighs on me
As heavy as stone and
a bone chilling cold

I was just wondering if
you’d come along
Tell me you will

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